Sinking

That's how I'm feeling so far...

Kerja bertimbun.. but rasa mcm tak mampu...

It's friday tomorrow and I haven't presented any history for this week... With a very picky tutor, I can feel that it's going to be hard...

Rasa nak nangis... letih la blaja..

It's like the time of the year when I feel I don't want to do medicine anymore...

My life... Next 5 weeks..

Here are the pics of my new place... my accomodation for the next 5 weeks...

SWANSEA !!! :(

I'm currently NCOTE-ing in Swansea.. Morriston and Singleton Hospital...

My room

The workplace..

The view from my room.. The beautiful beach...

Hurm.. Currently feeling low-ish.. Swansea is not as exciting.. We got meal card thus had to survive on canteen food.. Sgt2 tak sedap and nak muntah dah....

And in terms of NCOTE lak.. STRESSful seh.. Because we won't be tested on this module this year... but still have to work hard during this block.. The fact that we have an exam in 5 weeks time is stressing me out.. It's the final of 4th year exam.. and byk lg keje tak siap...

Unfortunately, the consultants here have high expectations... In terms of everything.. dgn cases presentations, write ups and medication review.. Plus they are being soooooooooooooooo picky.. Sgt2 la kecoh !!! mmg ktorg sume mcm dah nak breakdown semlm.. Because this is so tiring...

And ble penat, blk malam, tak leh revise utk exams sume.. I haven't done general medicine for a year... sebab this year byk buat specialised modules.. so, jarang la buat benda2 general.. but bila buat COTE ni, byk general med... mmg rasa gelabah sket.. dah byk lupa...

But i managed to do bloods alright... yeay !! and today during my stroke ward round, the consultant said my knowledge is quite good.. don't need an iphone with all the apps... cewah !!!

Ok.. need to go and do my slides for tomorrow's presentation.. :(

:(

Swansea feels different..

I'm just not happy here...

Feels like crying.. Maybe I'm just missing home :(

Poning...

My head is killing me now...

I know what's wrong...

I'm weaning off my painkillers... I took cocodamol only twice yesterday... instead of 4.... And didn't take any today... so far la.. and my back hurts... my head is worse... and it's headache due to analgesia....

Kalo amik painkillers mcm codeine, mmg akan ade effect where your body becomes dependent... So, kalo stop mmg akan rasa pening la... Ala2 withdrawal... nasib baik blaja medic, so tau la sket2... Tahan je dulu takat ni.. malam kang amik la utk nak tdo..

p/s : i have finished packing for swansea.. beg besar tu berat seh.. ni abah la tak bg tukar beg aritu.. hehe.. kalo ade beg yg medium size tu tak la berat sgt...

tak tau camne nak angkat beg2 tu esok.. dgn pinggang ku yg sakit ni... haish..
:(

Hectic week indeed....

Phew....

Eventho it's MOSS consolidation which is supposed to be less busy, it was a busy one for me.... :(

Had GP appointment on Monday after lectures.. Had to rush back from lectures to the surgery.. Dah la jalan terhencut2.... I seriously think my posture is bad... I'm putting pressure on one side of my body...

Then, after sleepless nights, I finally got to sleep for at least 5 hours by Tuesday... and it's getting better alhamdulillah.. Still painful but painkillers are helping..

And Tuesday, I did all the notes printing and had to rush to Tesco tu buy some more printing papers.. They ran out as well so I had to go to Staples... :(

And after that, I rushed to Julian Hodge to get my laptop registered with Cardiff Uni and install a eduroam for Swansea internet... And stayed there for like 3 hours and it didn't work... :( So, they suggested that I send it to the techinician the next day...

Eventho ada lectures kul 9, I rushed to Julian Hodge at 8.30 am.. drop my laptop and walked for luke 4o mins to the heath for lectures... Yes, I was late...

And after lectures, I walked all the way to Julian Hodge only to find out that she couldn't fix the problem and asked me to reformat it instead... WHAT ??? Agak geram , stress and sedih.. mmg menitis air mata gak because I was so tired... and then went to students union to sign the house contract..

And walked home.. Rang Kabi.. he came to the rescue.. He reformated my laptop and ect... and then that night Sanam invited us out for dinner.. to celebrate her birthday.. mmg malas gle nak pegi, but I did in the end...

Thursday and Friday, we had full days of neuro and care of the elderly lectures... And after lectures on Friday, I rushed back to Julian Hodge to reregister my laptop.. And still it didn't work.. this time around they said it's because they have some problem with the connection...

So, I rushed back there this morning to do it and same problem.. Their internet is still bad... :(

Mmg nak nangis air mata darah dah.. heh... so, now I will just have to take the risk.. Go to swansea and just hope that it will work there or I can try and get somebody to fix it there...

Now I have to pack my life into suitcases for Swansea.. and since exam is coming, I have to bring quite a lot of stuffs for revision as well.. STRESS !!!!!!!!

Nina texted me on thursday asking me to go out with her.. and i didnt because I was so tired... And since I'm not on Fb, i missed out the news.. she's now engaged... :))))

So, rugi la tak gi jumpa dia on Thursday because she wanted us to be the first to know.. heh.. but, i missed out the fun.. owh well.. The only time i'm not on fb, is when something big happened !!!

Something to make u smile :)

It's rough.. I'm so tired !! No energy to go to lectures at all..

Went to julian hodge yesterday to sort out my laptop for swansea's internet.. Need to register and install something.. Unfortunately, it didn't work.. And they asked me to come back this morning to drop my laptop for the technician to have a look..

And I said I have lectures.. So, they asked me to come at 8.30 am.. Went in, and the lady said.. "We are usually open at 9 am.. But because u are a doctor I'm giving u an exception.. We are usually nice to doctors" :)

I'm not a doctor yet.. But it makes me feel more motivated now !! Lol

P/s : I'm still having sleepless nights and still tired.. Need to get better before I go to swansea !!!!!

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New shopping bag..

Hehe.. Went to tesco nak beli printing paper je pun.. And nampak beg ni.. Shopping bag yg hasil jualan dia utk charity.. So, mcm justify la kalo beli.. Hehe.. Over seh. Tp, mmg dah lama nak beli shopping bag mcm tu.. And dpt yg cntik ni puas hati la..

Now thinking that I should get that bag for people at home.. Tak yah beli benda lain utk summer dah.. Haha.. Satu rumah dpt satu.. Kl, as and bukit raja.. Nak dak ???

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6 weeks

Tora datang lg...

Nope.. Exam dtg lagi...

It hits me hard... That I will be starting my last block on Wednesday.. And then, after 5 weeks of NCOTE (Neuro and Care of the Elderly)... It's exam time again.... ARGH!!!

Will start with OSCE and then written papers... It's the time of the year when I feel like I don't want to do medicine anymore... Time of the year that makes me feel like a failure...

Thus, I have decided to give up facebook at the moment.. Just for a bit.. Because I think I spend too much time on fb sometimes.. And in order to limit it, I just need to not use it for a few days and then I won't realise it's presence anymore..

But knowing myself, I know I'll come back to fb when I'm bored... But I need to focus !!!!!!

Stress.. seminggu dah tak buat kerja sbb tak sehat...

Yes, GP gave me another lot of painkillers... I didn't tell him that I'm a medic, but he kind of found out from the way I told the history... ceh !!!!!! I took cocodamol 8/500 before this.. now he gave me 15/500... and naproxen to replace my ibuprofen.. and some PPI to help with stomach just because I'm talking painkillers...

He said, if it happens again, he'll refer me to physio because due to occupational reasons, he said I need to have a healthy back.... CEH !!!

p/s : Now everybody can be a GP.... bg je painkillers....

Med students are the worst patients... haha

Well..

It's true... I hate going to doctors.. and now I have to do it finally... after delaying it for so long...

And last night Katie came.. Jen and Katie are having their paeds osce tomorrow so they used me as their patient to practise...

And the did neuro exam... lower limb... and guess what ?? They found out that I have lost of sensation in L5 (dermatome) and weakness on left leg especially the toes... And they started freaking out.. And decided to find the pulses on my legs because they said my leg feels cold... Pucat seh muka time tu.. tp, bajet cool....

And they did straight leg rise... Let's see what the GP said later.. But, I can just go to the GP and told him the findings of our examination.. Saves him some time right ?? lol

At the same time, we are all freaking out a bit.. Because I'm worried myself...

I slept for 5 hours again last night... Took cocodamol quite late.. sebab nak bg tahan smpai pg... kul 10 mlm baru amik lepas tgk dancing on ice skate off... Tdo kul 12... but then kul 5 dah terjaga sbb sakit... haish... mmg ngantuk sgt2 skang ni.. dah ah japg ade lecture...

Anyway, we discussed the possibility that my GP akan tanya pasal cervical smear.. haha.. the GP yg dpt utk appointment ni mmg terkenal dgn sikap pushy dia pasal smear... I'm 24 this year and dekat Wales diaorg start at 20... aritu dah dpt 2nd letter... Damn !!!!!! Ni yg malas nak g GP.. nak kena la explain lagi...

And last time Jen pegi, GP tu suro dia kuruskan badan.. And I said to Jen, I'm not surprised kalo GP tu suro I do the same thing before he can fix my back.. Damn again !!!!!!

So, kesimpulannya, tak suka la nak g GP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love drugs..

Yesterday I went to Tesco.. and got Co-codamol over the counter.. it's codeine + paracetamol...

And I love it... I managed to sleep last night... Alhamdulillah... But woke up at 4ish because cocodamol tu dah abis effect.. haha.. but i did manage to sleep alright... But still sakit la..

My friends suggested that I ring NHS direct.. But people says doctors make the worst patients... Same as medical student i think.. It's because I don't want to be stupid and use the resources that are meant for emergency only... We all know how GPs hate patients who waste their time.. lol... serious.. Kalo duduk dlm consultation, lepas patient kuar ade je GP yg buat muka....

One more day... Then I'll see my GP esok..

Sleepless nights...

I'm really grumpy at the moment...

Haven't been able to sleep for about 3-4 nights.. It's all because of my low back pain...

It all started on Tuesday morning when I woke up with a bit of discomfort on my back.. So, I went to placement as usual... And too many fundoscopy (looking into peoples' eyes) just made it worse... And I couldn't walk home.. It took me 40 mins to walk home when usually it only takes 15-20 mins...

It's not an unsual problem for me... Back pain is quite common in my life... But this time around it is worse... I think so...

I got shooting pain down my legs.. I couldn't walk for days but still made it to placement... Had to take ibuprofen and paracetamol religiously... It does help a bit.. but not much...

And by Thursday night, it is just worse... I haven't been able to sleep at night because I just don't feel comfortable at all.. Had to wear trainers to placement.. Luckily I got a black one and just assume that nobody will say anything.. I couldn't do ophtalmoscopy/fundoscopy...

And last night, I had numbness in my legs.. I know there's something wrong... So, at 3.30 am, I asked Jen to do a neuro exam on me.. And alhamdulillah I still have the reflexes.... It's just numbness down my left leg... And we managed to figure out which dermatome is affected...

Jen asked me whether I want to go to A&E or not.. And I said no.. I should be fine till Monday.. It's because we know how annoyed doctors get if we go to A&E without any emergency... Plus, we know what kind of treatment that they'll give me.. Some painkillers.... :P

I have made an appointment with my GP... I rang them on last Tuesday and the earliest that they can give me is on Monday.. How rubbish is that ? And I don't want to ask for an emergency appointment.. For the same reason la... Because been there and done that... GPs get annoyed if people misuse the emergency appointments..

So, at the moment, I'm still struggling.. Ibuprofen has started to give some side effects on my tummy... heartburn and diarrhoea...

Will hit the pharmacy today to get something else.. Maybe cocodamol... I really want to sleep at night.. Feeling so tired now...

Hopefully the GP can confirm the diagnosis that we have been making.. We here means my placement doctors and friends... haha... But the symptoms are classic anyway...

House..

We found a house...

And I have paid the deposit...

So, I am 500 pounds poorer.. :(