Anger

Warning... Ini adalah luahan perasan !

Lately ni asyik rasa nak marah je !!!! And mmg kalo geram tu, pasal hal placement... Mmg berjela2 la kalo nak cte... sempay fly blk msia, and patah blk... serius....

And as stated before, I am currently in my psych rotation... 3 weeks down and 2 weeks to go.. at 1st, I was really nervous, but then it totally changed.. Everybody was really nice... And mula2 tu geram sbb dpt placement yg merata dunia... Schedulu is like morning dekat CRI for Clinic.. Tu kena naik bas la... and then ptg dekat hospital lain for ward rounds... and this consultant of mine merata wards dia... Llandough.. whitchurch.... since I dont have a car, half of my days war wasted on buses or waiting for buses.. so, sometimes tak dpt lunch break.. And if its raining, I will be wet by the time smpai hosp... Mmg meletihkan... But 1st week tu mcm ok lg la.. sbb baru start...

But then, came week 3, I am easily annoyed and irritated.. imagine waking up early just to catch the bus, and tgk2 bus tak dtg.. tunggu bas smpai 30 min, bus tak smpai2.. smpai la lambat for clinics or ward rounds... and kalo bas lambat tu, rasa mcm nak marah je.. naik bus je terus muka merah !!! rasa nak nangis.. and geram sgt2 !!!!! Every single day i started my day with anger.. which is not good...

and then... Dah week 3, I am still terkontang-kanting for history and mental state examination... Request nak amik history tak dilayan.. patients not suitable and mcm2 lg... then, dpt la amik history form this patient kat ICU.... Terus motivation went down sbb patient tu teruk gle.. and i failed to get any information from her... So, i asked my consultant for more cases... and one extra case for my Long Case Assessment... and he said, he wants my long case to be written.. WHAT ??? setgh consultant nak case dia presented je... ni nak kena written...

And the worst thing is, my consultant suro guna history patient yg ICU tu as my long case.. I said to him, I dont have enough info.. dia kata... pegi la jumpa patient tu lg !!! and the problem is that nobody knows what's wrong with her.. seriously... So, how am I supposed to know ? I'm just a student !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish he would give me a more straight fwd case for my long case.....

And prob in the house... not helping... and homesickness.. not helping...... But somehow, air mata tak nak keluar... Salunya kalo nangis, terus rasa lega.. and apparently, that's how it is supposed to work.. my consultant said so... kena nangis baru lega... haha... tu advice dia kat patients... but then... disebabkan terlalu marah and geram, nak nangis pun tak leh.... hurm.. as if i'm on antidepressents ke ape... note that kalo amik antidepressent, air mata tak kuar... fuyooooooo


Ok2.... My aim is to be positive next 2 weeks... because dah nak abis psych.. tak nak ah placement ni jd sia2.. so, this weekend, I'll work really hard to finish up my notes and hopefully leh happy sket....

Ya Allah, please help me !

On the bright site, i have been blessed by lots of friends.... since I will be going to Rhyl for my next block, I have been offered lifts to Rhyl by a few people.. note here, i didnt ask for it... Org dtg offer !!! Fuyoo... I guess it's not that bad not having a car.. skang nak kena decide nak naik kete sapa !!! haha..

ok... need to get ready.. nak pi gym... satg jadi nala punya besaq plak kalo tak pi..

p/s : Homework for the day... decide nak blk ke tak winter ??